do i want to know HIM more?
i find myself pausing at this question in my life. i tend to default to the thought that if i want something really bad then that probably means God will seize the opportunity to teach me patience 
. i know that i choose to think this way sometimes to protect myself from disappointment. whether we’re wanting a husband, a job, the job we really want, a home, a family, success…you name it, these are the things that can distract us at times from wanting to know God’s character more. today i felt my heart ask me which i want more…to know HIM, or my hopes in the things i think i need now?
if he was there when i was being formed in the secret place, if he knows every hair on my head, if he knows the number of days set before me, if he knows the good in me, as well as my sin, if he knows every thought i will have from now until i die. i think he knows what’s best for me right this second. i don’t hear him telling me to quit hoping, i hear him telling me to rest in him because he knows my heart. He knows my heart. He’s given me enough strength to suffice for today, i’m not yet equipped to deal with tomorrow. matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
as i was typing this out i got a picture of hands painstakingly stitching a needle point design. in its slow process at times, it can be hard to see the picture in the early stages. it may end up with many mountains, many valleys, many trees, many flowers, many homes and a cute family of 5. but until it’s completed we really can’t tell what the picture will end up looking like, but once it is complete we see the beautiful creation, and at that time it makes sense – the picture is whole.
today i’m meditating on this verse:
Romans 8:24-25
24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
we wait for it patiently because he is Lord, and he promises to make good of ALL things.
I love your blog! Just discovered it today…and the timing was perfect because I needed to hear what you said in this post….to be reminded that he knows me! I forget that sometimes….and it’s nice to be reminded that you’re known. =)
thanks so much for letting me know that Lindsey!