There’s only one Harper Grace Essian

oh my sweet Harper baby…words cannot express the good work God has done in me through you.  desiring you made me view God in a whole new way.  He never fully possessed life-giving power in my eyes until i acknowledge that He would be your creator. He is your father and He loves you more than we could ever have the ability to love you. His grace is sufficient.

before i share harper’s birth story let me just tell you all how anxiety ridden these last few days have been…no not because i’m a new mom, that’s been awesome! i’ve been anxiety ridden over baby h’s name. i remember saying right after we found out she was a girl, that if she appeared to have round features at birth then she would be a harper.  i pictured a round cherub angel playing the harp for Jesus. well, this baby couldn’t have chubbier cheeks and more rounded features. she’s definitely a harper! but the anxiety was about hearing of other harper grace’s not even enough to make it a big deal (none close to us) but when you think you’re being unique and then realize that no, you actually didn’t make the name up, there are others out there, then i suppose you get over it . lesson learned…do not ask others about your baby name ideas! we set out to be different early on and felt crushed to think that there could possibly be other harper grace’s out there. you all will probably think i’m a tad crazy (maybe a lot crazy)  but i’ve really had to pray these last few days about her name and my anxiety over her name. it’s the only topic that’s made me cry since she came into this world! but this evening as i prayed with my sweet husband for a peace over a name and then continued to contemplate more, my mom entered my room and said “honey you’ve always loved harper grace, you don’t love the other names. there’s only one harper grace essian and that’s this baby’s name.” thank you Jesus for your peace. she is harper grace.

birth story part I:

harper grace essian entered this world on november 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm weighing 9 lbs.  and could not have come any earlier according to her mother who was in crazy painful labor for 16 hours with zero pain medicine.  the amount of support and encouragement i had from those who were present is amazing to me and brings me to tears to see the way they all loved me the whole way through, it really is a sweet sweet memory for me. the natural birth at the birth center was a wonderful experience and i can’t think of a more peaceful way for baby h to have been born.  i’m still processing the birth and praying about what the Lord is still revealing to me through that experience, the pain was intense, but his grace was thick. one thing i know is that He’s shown me that reward is no reward at all without suffering.  it seems as though the greater the suffering the greater the reward.  at one point as i cried out to Him (really i shouted) during the pain, He whispered to me “you’ve done right by me my child, i will finish what i have began in you, i will bring this baby.”

more of her birth story in part II

look at those cheeks! i’m in love…

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