Posts Tagged ‘mom’

I have yet to have the chance to sit down and write out my sweet Hollis Jane’s birth story. I really want to, but I still need to sort through the beautiful photos…what’s a birth story without those?! Instead I have this little window to write about what I’m learning as a Mother of two small babes :-). All while on my iPhone because who the heck has the time to sit down at the computer?!

Today I had the genius idea to google “adjusting to two kids” hoping to read a billion blog posts by desperate Moms like myself, speaking about how difficult it’s been for them. (Bad idea) Instead I seemed to stumble upon sweet ladies talking schedules, routines, special toys for their toddlers while nursing, cleaning systems, sleeping newborns, and daily Bible scriptures written around the house to help keep them from slipping into selfishness. Whatthewhat..that was not the comparison material I was looking for. Why we like to compare ourselves as women I will never know. Don’t judge…you do it too ;-). And it’s unhealthy isn’t it? That’s a blog post for another day!

My house is seldom clean, my newborn is not very sleepy, I do not have special nursing toys for Harper because Hollis is not a peaceful nurser, therefor those special toys would never be put away anyways. And I’m doing good if I take the time to just pray throughout the day. Waking up early to write verses on a cute index card sounds like a terrible idea considering I’m up way too often in the night with my not-very-sleepy-newborn. Even though I’m certain I need to read God’s promises often in order to keep me from my sinful self throughout the day. The last ten weeks have been hard. Real hard. Joyful, but mostly hard. 🙂

Motherhood is a paradox my friends…

You bounce your crying unhappy newborn around the house all day, and you’re so miserable while doing so. (On zero sleep and loads of hormones.)
But you’re so thankful to get to comfort and pat that sweet baby, that you would do it for a thousand years if it means you get to have them!

You pull your two year old out of the pantry, off of the book shelves, and away from their napping sibling so as not to wake the unhappy newborn. Such acts can cause so much anxiety…you long for a peaceful moment!
Yet you would spend all day and all night doing so if it means you get to see their sweet smiles, receive their sweet hugs, and be the one to comfort them when they fall off of the bookshelves. They need their Mama, and you get to be her.

I’m learning that motherhood is indeed difficult. It is for every one of us. To talk about the difficulties does not mean we’re not thankful for our bundles of joy. To talk about Jesus and what He’s showing us in the trenches of motherhood is good. To follow the details of the hard days with truth that there is much that is worthy of praise, is good. But sometimes first comes how hard it is…

My prayer is that I will come out of this short season with more love for Jesus. Knowing that God is growing me so much. What a blessing it is to see ourselves through His eyes…how much He loves us…and to see and admit that we need growth, and we can count on Him to give us the ability to grow. There is much grace when we sit before the Lord in honesty, and much freedom to admit when things are just hard. Joyfully hard :-).

I hope one day a desperate mom will google a silly thing the way I did, and read about my story. I’ll have my seems too good to be true blog posts just like the others, but they will also read the hard, probably too honest blog posts.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas! I can’t wait to see Harps tear into her gifts!

P.S. I should also note what a sweet baby Hollis is…the poor thing has reflux and has been in such pain. Harper is the best big sister, loving on her any chance she gets! What a blessing they are to me.


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